The Shit People

We foolishly decided to cheap out and stay in a B and B with a shared bathroom. Our mistake.

Our hostess asked us to use a different bathroom than our usual one part way through our stay. There were some "elderly people" who were staying for one night and wanted a private bathroom. We agreed, because it did not matter to us, and the other bathroom was actually nicer anyway.

So we used the nicer bathroom for the day and night, as requested, and the next morning just continued to use the nicer bathroom (partly because we thought it was nicer, and partly because we didn't know when the "elderly people" were checking out).

At the end of this second day we returned to the B and B for the evening, and used the nicer bathroom to have showers. Well, Ian did anyway.

While I was using the bathroom another couple, who we had not met yet and who must have checked in on this very day, returned to the B and B and began banging on the door to the bathroom. I finished my shower, and exited the bathroom, at which time a nasty Spanish girl gave me the nastiest look ever, stared into the bathroom as if inspecting it, and then stared at me. I said "what?" in an admittedly challenging tone of voice, and she said "Nada" and stormed back to her room.

I found this all very confusing, but assumed she had requested a private bathroom and that she was just pissed that we were using hers. I returned to our room, Ian and I prepared for bed, and read a bit, and then I went to brush my teeth, this time returning to the bathroom we had used on our first day. I opened the door, turned on the light, and smelled the shit. Then I saw the shit. Wow. SHIT!

Let me try to describe it: it appeared as though the toilet was plugged with a mixture of feces, toilet paper, and decaying human hair. On top of all of this, there was a giant pile of reddish-brown feces on top of the back of the toilet seat. A pile. Like someone has stood on the toilet seat, crouched low, and left their excrement for all to see.

I was so stunned that I ran down the hall to tell Ian. I now assumed that the mean Spanish girl had, on finding me in the other bathroom, gone to this one and found that same pile of shit. This accounts for the weird look she gave me, the inspection of the bathroom, and the stupefied look on her face. I am certain I had that same stupefied look when I returned to tell Ian.

Because who wouldn't be stupefied? Who can imagine an individual, staying in a B and B, who would calmly and deliberately shit a pile of shit onto the top of a toilet seat? We can only assume it was the "elderly people", as they were the only ones staying in the B and B that day. And they were Spanish too. Thus confirming my dislike for the elderly. And the Spanish.